Friday, 26 March 2010

Recession ends as Poundland open new store

The citizens of Newport were jumping for joy in the newly tarmacked John Frost Square as the end of the recession had surely come to the city with the opening of a new Poundland store in the mostly empty Kingsway Shopping Centre. Cardiff may have John Lewis and the St Davids 2 Shopping Centre but given the choice of shopping in Newport or Cardiff, the chavs of Bettws, Ringland and Duffryn would prefer to go shoplifting in Newport, with a special preference for
"Its fooking great", said Kevin, 22, from Ringland, "This new shop has loads of tat for a quid or free if I nicks it. Lots of prezzies for the kidies at Christmas as well".
A spokesman for Newport City Council was reported as saying that the new Poundland store definetly signaled the end of the recession in Newport and that the council were considering adding the Poundland logo to the City's coat of arms.
Newport - home of the Ryder Cup 2010 and big enough to have 2 Poundland shops.