Saturday 12 December 2009

Newport skanks look forward to having a Tiger in their tanks

The slovenly-looking women of Newport are looking forward to the Ryder Cup in 2010 and especially to the visit to the City of golfer Tiger Woods.
A spokesperson for the man-grabbing sluts said that looking at the class of women Tiger goes for such as cocktail waitresses, Newport is more than able to offer the same quality of eager man-eaters willing to have sex with a multi-millionaire sports personality. Fourteen-year old Chanterelle, who was interviewed on Friday night in a City-centre Wethersoons said, after her fifth alcopop "I wuz going to get myself preggers and get a council house but instead I'll get me clit pierced and my tits out for Tiger when he's in town!"
Newport City Council welcomed the news, saying that with all the slappers we have in Newport on Friday and Saturday nights Tiger would be spoilt for choice.
The landlady from the Hornblower pub was unavailable to comment.

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